Notes on dirty talk
While many of my articles evaluate how the sexual response can be influenced pharmacologically, a more traditional method is through sexual language or depictions of sexual acts.
Words, pictures, or thoughts (which are mostly formulated as words or imagined as pictures) can be powerful in initializing a string of sexual reactions. They can cause a mental fixation on sexual acts strong enough to make us forget everything else.
This doesn’t contradict the assumption that all bodily functions, including those of the brain, are primarily biochemical processes. It simply demonstrates that the biochemical processes of the brain can be triggered by methods other than chemical agents: the senses, memory, and even abstract reasoning.
It is possible to modulate susceptibility to words and pictures with medications that suppress the hormone prolactin. High prolactin levels are associated with maternal behavior and a lack of sexual appetite.
Healthy individuals, aside from breastfeeding mothers, usually don’t have to worry about their prolactin levels. Nevertheless, dopaminergics are purchased by an increasing number of people not for the treatment of Parkinson’s disease, but for their prolactin-suppressing and sexuality-enhancing properties.
While dopaminergics will, to a certain extent, help in focusing the mind on sexual thoughts and acts, it would be amateurish to disregard the power of words as an agent for sexual enhancement (and I am not saying this because, as a writer, I prefer to stick to the tools of my trade).
Perhaps women more than men are open to the power of words when it comes to sexual enhancement. Tell your current partner details of your sex life with a previous one, and you may find that this verbal stimulation is more effective than physical aids.
If you are with your wife and the relationship lacks zest, try something more explicit. Talk about what you dreamed last night (you can make that up in any way you think may work). And if you are not good at making up stories, get help from works of "science" that have been written about the sexual fantasies of women. Or, for some heavier artillery, read de Sade’s Justine.
Most women, even those who are dedicated mothers and homemakers, are amazingly susceptible to fantasies such as being the only female among ten or twenty men on a deserted island.
Women read more fiction than men do, and crafting stories into which women can channel their sexual fantasies makes for a whole genre of literature.
To indulge in fantasies doesn’t mean that there is a serious desire to turn them into reality. Most women who can be aroused by stories about being served by a group of men would balk at a proposal to actually implement such a setting. They will refuse even if they may have whispered "I want" when such a scenario was verbally fantasized about while enjoying sexual intercourse (with just one man, that is). It’s not only that women may be better capable of differentiating between fantasies and reality.
It’s also understandable that in a private situation (when being together with just one man), a woman may, in her fantasies, be open to the thrill of being served by several men, while avoiding the complications that such an endeavor would result in if attempted in real life.