Rules of deceit and deception
While in some fields (business, politics, or the professions, and especially in writing), honesty may be the best approach, the area of human sexual relationships is so complicated that some individuals believe keeping to honesty will either shortchange them or stir up unfavorable emotions among the women they pursue.
Manipulative individuals often claim to be against breaking the law, believing there are no clever criminals and that it is smarter to get what they want without crossing legal lines. Those who see no other way but to break the law are viewed as lacking strategic foresight.
However, those seeking to maximize their sexual encounters often employ techniques of deceit and deception. For example, a bluntly honest approach—such as telling a young woman that one only wants casual sex with her and her friends, while scheduling other partners—will fail.
Blunt honesty gets manipulators nowhere. Instead, they might use a line like: “Wow, I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. This is the first time I have fallen in love at first sight. Sorry, I am confusing you, but looking at you has totally confused my mind. I hope you aren't married or something like that. That would break my heart.”
This second approach won't necessarily work with every woman, but the first one never will. While male peers might understand the blunt approach, they would not take the romantic exaggeration seriously. Many women, however, prefer to hear such romanticized flattery.
By and large, the techniques of deceit and deception for building sexual relationships are similar to those applied in hypnosis. When a hypnotist tells a subject to imagine a sunny Pacific island where all dreams come true and problems are solved, it is an illusion. Yet, it is what the subject wants to hear, at least unconsciously.
Suggestions of paradisiacal scenarios lull people into a state of mind controlled by the hypnotist rather than their own reason. The same principle applies, albeit on a lower scale, to telling a young woman how beautiful she is and promising eternal love.
Manipulators do not literally hypnotize the women they target, as that would be illegal and dangerous. Instead, they keep the woman conscious while psychologically manipulating her. This ensures that any compliance appears to be of her own free will, shielding the manipulator from direct blame.
It is surprising how susceptible some women are to dreams so standard they are best classified as clichés. Even women with low self-esteem like to hear that they are beautiful and sexy. A manipulator might tell an average-looking woman that she has the potential to be a movie star, a photo model, or a flight attendant. She may consciously dismiss this as impossible or mere flattery, but unconsciously, she may blossom under the incited imagination.
As young women mature, they usually become better at differentiating realistic perspectives from unrealistic ones.
However, for a Caucasian man seeking partners in Asia, the fantasy does not necessarily fade as women mature. In many Asian countries, the prospect of becoming the housewife of a Western man is viewed as being just as viable as the dream of becoming a singer or movie star.
The prospect of marrying an American or European husband combines two common dreams for young women globally: glamour and lifelong love. This dream does not necessarily fade until women are well over 30. In Asia, many average-looking young women and women over 30 succeed in marrying foreign husbands. This is observed on the streets of large cities and read about in celebrity magazines.
Combining this insight with the first rule of deceit—signaling a desire for lifelong love—allows an older foreign man to successfully compete with younger or wealthier locals, as well as with younger foreign men who only appear to be seeking casual sex.
The goal of such manipulators is rarely to actually find a wife, but rather to maximize casual sexual encounters with non-sex workers. They charm their targets and create romantic impressions to achieve their goals, but stop short of legal marriage, maintaining the legal right to change their minds at any moment.
To summarize, the first rule of deceit is to let women hear what they want to hear, rather than revealing true intentions.
The second rule is to eliminate social control by seeking as much privacy as possible. A manipulator cannot tell a young woman she has the potential to become a movie star in front of her parents. Her parents would not fall for it; they would recognize the tactics and perceive the man as trouble.
It is best to psychologically isolate a young woman in private. Even her friends, upon hearing such lines, might try to bring her back to reason, which is highly counterproductive to the game of seduction.
The first chapter of this game of deceit ends with the woman genuinely falling in love. In reality, she loves her own hopes and dreams, and the manipulator has become an essential part of them. Her dreams become so dependent on him that if he leaves the picture, her dreams will shatter.
The second chapter begins when the manipulator implements his ideas in reality. He might claim he wants to marry her but needs to get permission from his family or government first, which will take time. Meanwhile, he complains of physical distress due to sexual frustration. He claims he wants to be faithful, but implies that if she is not willing to be intimate, he will have to find someone else. He guilt-trips her, insisting he only needs it “a little bit” and that it is “not serious yet.”
Through such pressure, the manipulator can often talk her into it, provided they are alone. Witnesses are avoided not necessarily because the act is illegal, but because they might bring her back to her senses.
Once intimacy is established, the target becomes highly susceptible to further manipulation. Under the strangest pretexts, the manipulator can make increasingly outlandish demands.
A highly skilled manipulator might even convince her that bringing in a third woman for a threesome is the best way to deepen their love, perhaps giving it a metaphysical or pseudo-religious dimension to entangle her further. High-control groups and cults use similar psychological tactics.
To uphold the romantic illusion initially implanted in her, she may agree to almost any sexual act. This psychological control often extends to other aspects of life. If the woman is wealthy, she may grant the manipulator access to her financial resources, though wealthy young women are typically under stricter social control by their families.
It is truly amazing to what extent women can be controlled without formal hypnosis. However, the more unusual the manipulator's demands, the more important it is to stick to the third rule of deceit.
The third rule is to proceed step by step. A manipulator cannot demand extreme sexual acts before establishing conventional physical intimacy. To get what they want, they play a game of two steps forward, one step back.
Before making requests that would normally be declined, the manipulator acts extra romantic for a week, then mentally withdraws, appearing sad. When asked what is wrong, he blames her, claiming her reluctance has made their future together look bleak. This emotional manipulation usually ensures her cooperation.
The key is to go step by step and not present demands that are too large to swallow. The target will often agree to anything if the right psychological tactics are applied. The manipulator avoids physical threats or abuse, relying entirely on the threat of emotional withdrawal to gain compliance.
These techniques of manipulating women are not new. Con artists have used them for centuries, and pimps frequently apply them to coerce their victims into sex work and financial exploitation.