In many developing cities, a significant portion of young men face severe economic challenges, lacking personal savings, independent housing, and stable employment.
However, they still experience strong biological drives and a desire to form relationships.
Additionally, they often have an abundance of free time, which they may use to flirt with young women.
Life can be difficult for young women in large cities of developing nations. They often live in crowded family homes with multiple siblings. There is a strong societal expectation to find a suitable husband—someone with the means to support a family, a stable job, and a responsible character. At the same time, young women are often closely guarded by their families, as fathers and brothers are aware of the prevalence of young men seeking romantic or sexual opportunities.
Therefore, young women in these cities face a dual restriction: they have fewer opportunities to socialize freely compared to young women in Western countries, and the percentage of economically "qualified" young men is very small.
Parents often pressure their daughters to marry a man who can support them in their old age. In short, the goal is to marry well or marry upward. This is not only a material imperative but also a measure of social success. If families cannot compete through material wealth, they may compete through the perceived success of their daughters' marriages.
However, simple arithmetic dictates that if a large majority of young men are not economically "qualified," it is mathematically impossible for all young women to marry upward.
When resigning to the fact that a wealthy spouse is unlikely, a young woman in a developing city may lower her expectations. If an ideal partner is unavailable, she may seek a "responsible" man—one who is willing to work, even in a modest job, and who contributes his income to the household rather than spending it socially.
Young men in these cities often know what young women want to hear, as expressing commitment is frequently seen as a necessary step to initiate a sexual relationship. They may make promises such as: "I love you. You are different from anyone else. I hope to be your husband forever. Although I have no money or job right now, I would take any available work to support my wife and family, because you are all that matters to me."
However, from a cynical perspective, his internal monologue might be entirely different, focused primarily on securing a sexual encounter with minimal effort, viewing declarations of love merely as a transactional means to that end.
In this dynamic, a young woman's primary leverage is her willingness to engage in sexual intimacy. The argument posits that once this boundary is crossed, her leverage diminishes, and she may struggle to enforce previous commitments. Furthermore, in many developing cities, the longer a couple remains in an informal relationship without marrying, the slimmer the chances of marriage become. Since stable, well-paying jobs for young men are scarce, it is often easier for them to remain unemployed, socialize, and rely on the financial support of female partners who hope for eventual marriage.
It is observed that a significant number of women in the sex trade in developing cities are those who were abandoned by partners after becoming pregnant, rather than fitting the narrative often highlighted in Western media of being abducted and sold into trafficking.
Consequently, advice given to young women in these environments may seem conservative: preserve sexual intimacy until a formal, family-approved marriage is established. The risk of ending up as a single mother without a committed partner is considered too high otherwise.
A different level of risk might be considered if the young man is economically stable, though this does not imply that financial status alone guarantees a woman's security or a man's commitment.
If a Western man shows genuine commitment or a willingness to marry, this is often viewed as a highly advantageous prospect. Having a child with such a partner, even outside formal wedlock, is perceived as carrying a higher likelihood of financial support for the mother and child, compared to the risk of involvement with a wealthy local man who may be accustomed to having multiple partners without assuming long-term responsibility.
Ultimately, it is challenging to be a young, economically disadvantaged woman in a large developing city. Therefore, a pragmatic strategy may be to prepare for the possibility of remaining single, which can sometimes be more advantageous than partnering with an unreliable, underemployed individual.