Every person behaves in a manner that is advantageous either to their genes or to their own self.
There is a natural conflict between the interests of an individual's genes and the interests of the individual themselves.
From the perspective of genes, anything that aids in their replication or procreation is advantageous. The interests of the conscious self are different.
Genes have primed humans to sacrifice themselves for their offspring. Even before humans achieved self-awareness, they were equipped with both sexual desire and parental love.
Self-awareness, however, allows one to conclude that self-sacrifice may benefit the offspring, but it does not benefit the person making the sacrifice.
Would a person save their only child if it meant their own death? Assume that the sacrifice would definitely save the child, and furthermore, that the person's own destruction would be certain.
The interests of our genes and the interests of an individual with a high degree of self-awareness are fundamentally contradictory.
Choosing suicide to preempt senseless suffering, dulling a meaningless existence with drugs, or seeking a gentle death preceded by a life of optimal sex—these are the interests of an individual with a high degree of self-awareness. The interest of genes is procreation at any cost. The interest of the individual carrying these genes is, at the very least, to minimize suffering.
An individual's genes and their conscious self can dictate vastly different behavioral patterns, and this conflict is more pronounced in women than in men.
A man's conscious self desires optimal sexual satisfaction, which requires a considerable variety of sexual partners. Incidentally, optimizing his sexual satisfaction by changing partners is also in the interest of his genes, as men can theoretically sire a child every day.
For a woman, pursuing optimal sexual satisfaction with a considerable variety of partners potentially runs against the interests of her genes. For tens of thousands of years, the optimal evolutionary environment for a woman's genes favored being selective in choosing a sexual partner and engaging in sexual contact only with a man who would be a committed father.
Genes also demand from women, more than from men, a higher willingness to sacrifice themselves for the benefit of their children—not just in situations of acute danger, but in everyday life. After all, children, especially young children, require constant attention and care.
Consequently, women, more than men, possess a genetically primed ability to control their sexual desires in favor of a partner committed to their offspring.
For this reason, it is no surprise that empirical studies on "what women want" in societies around the world consistently conclude that women are more inclined toward monogamy than men are.
This does not mean that in previous societies, just as in current ones, there were not many women who had a strong inclination to enjoy sexual contact with multiple men for the sake of optimal sexual satisfaction. It is simply that this behavior was not as successfully preserved from generation to generation, because the children of such mothers did not survive as easily as those whose mothers forwent sexual satisfaction for the benefit of their children.
Humans have a remarkable capacity to adapt to changing situations, both genetically and behaviorally. Genetic adaptations driven by compelling pressures can occur over just a few generations, while behavioral adaptations can occur within a society over just a few years.
The fact that women are genetically primed to control their desire for optimal sexual satisfaction does not mean that their sexual desires were reduced. This would not even be in the interest of their genes. The interest of her genes is that once there is no child for whom she must sacrifice her sexual desire, that desire remains in full force and is not necessarily directed toward just one man.
For individuals with a high degree of self-awareness who do not resort to suicide, an ideology of pursuing a comfortable death, preceded by optimal sex, makes as much sense for women as it does for men.
