Some academic disciplines, such as evolutionary psychology, overemphasize the extent to which we are determined by our genes. But insofar as we have acquired self-awareness, we free ourselves from genetic determinism.
Self-awareness provides us with the following basic knowledge:
Our individual lives cease with our individual deaths.
Before we die, our interest is to get through our lives as pleasantly and with as little suffering as possible; and our ultimate goal is a comfortable death.
The interests of our genes are fundamentally different from our own. Our genes merely want to propagate as successfully as possible, even if it means hardship and terrible suffering for us.
What we find pleasurable is determined by our constitution, which in turn is determined by our genes. However, by granting us pleasure (namely, sexual pleasure), our genes tend to trick us into accepting non-pleasurable responsibilities and, ultimately, even suffering.
But self-awareness allows us to dissociate the two: to accept the pleasures (which are primarily sexual) and to organize our lives in such a way that the responsibilities do not become disruptive, and that we avoid suffering altogether.
These fundamentals are the same for men and women. However, the genetic mix of rewards and tricks used to make us accept responsibilities and suffering differs slightly between men and women.
Women quite possibly feel more empathy for children in need of help than men do, and are consequently more willing to accept their own suffering for the benefit of children. It is not that they enjoy suffering; it is simply that they are less capable of enjoying pleasure when they feel they should be helping children.
This mechanism works on men, including me, too, though perhaps not to the same extent. However, when my children were in danger, I was willing to risk my life to save them.
